Donne Di Guerra
by coinincident
Summary: A series/collection of one-shots with Fem!Classes. The Administrator, after puzzling over why females were "forbidden" from being mercenaries, decides to give a Fem!Pyro a test-run on the field. This might change the way the war simulations are fought...


**(PS: All the stuff in bold at the beginning and end of a chapter is me yapping on. You can skip it if you want, but I will be sad D:)**

**Mandy: Well, this was unexpected.  
>Scout: You're tellin' <strong>_**me**_**! What the hell, man, you said ya was gonna update some other crap, an' you're givin' 'em **_**dis**_** shit?  
>Mandy: -duct tapes Scout's mouth- Yes, yes, blah blah blah. Well I'm totally interested in doing a series of Fem!Class fanfiction one-shots because of all the stories I've read… they've influenced me to make this blasphemous creation. You can tell it was the stories in my C2 that influenced me P:<strong>

_**TL;DR:**_** Here's some stuff you might want to know so that you can correct me if I'm wrong!**

**1. I don't know the Administrator and Miss Pauling as well as I'd like to. If I get their characters wrong, point it out to me and also tell me what makes you think so. I like to hear people's thoughts!  
>2. Accents. I will have them (obviously from Scout's rant as you could tell), but if I get an accent wrong or it just doesn't seem like something that character would say, please tell me!<br>3. As with some TF2 fanfiction, this will have slight references to Portal/Portal 2. Mine might have more references to both of these than most but it's vague enough that you don't need to either play Portal/Portal 2 or that it needs to be a TF2/Portal crossover. It just tantalizes the mind, is all :3  
>4. I'm totally blowing the dates out of the water. You know, how TF2 might've taken place like in the 1940's and whatnot? Yeaaaaah let's just think of it as the normal, present time period. Makes everything easier, for me and for you. <strong>_**\TL;DR**_

**Mandy: Well, anyway, enough of that. Rated T for language and slight gore, as well as crude humor. -winkwink- Disclaimer, anyone?  
>Spy: Mandy does not own Team Fortress 2 or anyzing by VALVe Corporation and does not claim zem in any way, shape, or form. She only <strong>_**vaguely**_** claims ze Fem!Class OCs and ze storyline, but zat is all.**

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

There was a reason why there weren't any females in either RED or BLU. It wasn't the fact that they were emotional attachments, whether it was in giving or receiving. It wasn't that they asked too many questions, or normally couldn't bear the art of war that was so perfected by man. The reason wasn't because females distracted the men from their fighting. No, these were only smaller influences on a much bigger _main_ reason as to why females weren't allowed in the teams. So then what was this reason why females weren't included in the war simulations?

The Administrator, strangely, did not know why. She hired mercenaries to fight each other and could not remember this reason why females were "forbidden" from being hired just as equally. It was odd, indeed, that she could vaguely remember that she, too, had one had a boss. This "boss" slowly faded from communicating with the company, and the Administrator… ahem, "took it upon herself" to assume the slot where the buck stops. She controlled hundreds of RED and BLUE team simulations, from the coldest of places to the hottest. Miss Pauling, her secretary, worked out the land deeds and mailed hiring requests to could-be mercenaries, after having researched them quite thoroughly.

The thought crossed her mind: If the top two of TF Industries were female, why not the mercenaries, as well?

This came to her after getting a special case from someone requesting to be a mercenary. It was a woman who wanted to be a pyrotechnician, to be exact. The Administrator granted her request, but on one condition: to hide her gender and keep it a secret. This Pyro was an experiment – a test at how other women might do in the field. If that was successful, then the next step would be testing the men, who normally didn't have relationships or hadn't seen a woman for a long time.

When the Administrator handed the woman her Reliable Excavation and Demolition Pyro uniform, the employer held tightly to the last piece as the Pyro tried to take it – the gas mask – and made sure she had the recruit's complete and utter attention. She took a drag of her cigarette, and then said, blowing smoke:

"You've got one shot."

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><p><strong>Mandy: So? Interesting? Yes? No?<br>Scout: I still think dis is a dumb idea.  
>Mandy: No one asked you! :E<br>Medic: If you don't mind my askink, how exactly vill this vork?  
>Scout: Pffft. Ass kink. -falls over unconscious with a <strong>_**mysterious **_**needle in his neck-  
>Mandy: Glad ya asked! All of the one-shots are slightly connected, but not to the point where I could say this isn't just a series of one-shots. Some "one-shots" will have more than one part. You'll understand as I go along.<strong>

**Feed a writer – leave a review! (Seriously, leaving a nice review that doesn't say "updateplz" is an inspiration to me)**


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